shyammonk

The girl stopped, turned back, said "When i wanted to sleep, i would just roll all the thoughts that came the road. Some intelligent ones called it sorcery once. You will call it 'Attached to none', 'open cognition' and think of me as wise. Back then i didn't know it could have a name or label. I am no more surprised or feel awkward being a little girl among the giants. My mind now knows the reason how this could happened, how the years had started much long before than i consciously knew. Thanks for the gift – from me to me." and floated away like a feather on a moon beam.

Much of what i know about Buddhist 'techniques' is from Jack Kornfield. Here is a list of techniques he talks about that helps see the mind's movements :

A) Letting go or letting be  B) Balance C) Suppress D) Sublimate E) Aggravate/Exaggerate

This is what i do these days :

1 . Containing the breath, keeping it in a soft relaxed place within the body, within the abdomen. No push to exhale nor inhale, just keep it within the size available for each breath. This feels like luxury. Cuddling the Little Breath Cub. (Letting go, letting be but more focus on ones relaxation than exploration of what is)

2 . Chanting remembering the first letter of each word  (concentration, suppression)

3. Aha, oho, seeing whatever comes, listening accepting whatever be (letting be)

4 . Looking at it asking what can you do (conversation with oneself, clarity – it is letting be with focus on the experiences)

5 . Not needed just my mind, not true just my mind : just remembering the reality of it, and helping remember that i already know this reality. How it is just in here and not out there. All i have this small body and all the menace in the world is within that! (strong let go – not even looking at the nature of that particular irritation)

More and more i am tending to 'not needed, not true' and just leave the irritation without giving importance, knowing it is just within my neural pathways – 'in here not out there'. And coming to cuddle the breath in peace. "As if in deep sleep"

It is interesting to see the 'rogue attempts of the mind' when i have more time to spend. Either 1) saying aha, oho, yeah right, absolutely, yes sure i am that, oh yeah why not OR 2) facing it square

Facing it square : This comes from the obvious understanding that it is just in here and not out there. So the 'terrible things that i am accused of' are looked straight at as i would a trouble maker on the street. Straight, no escape. Because there is only me and this is my 'territory'. Then, slowly release the aggressive part of it, and be passive and rest in the knowledge of only me. Cuddle breath, in case i did not mention it before.

The landscape is getting more and more interesting, Meeting the Rogues.

When thinking of what next, the search is on on what has been. Then trying to build the next on what has been. For one, the past exists only to the extend one wants it almost like one makes it as one wants at will. Two, one has the choice to make something new with what is now, and what can be. Skill or resources missing for what can be made, can be filled up as one goes.

Stuck with a sticky thought, persistent irritation. Jump from there, as soon as the sticking tries to happen again, jump again, keep doing this. Jump here, there and back and forth and there on to the side, on to the wall… Freedom.

Non sequential, without reasoning. Attached to none.

"The restless waters of the lake appear to make the moon dance" – one doesn't really care that much for the restlessness as one thinks. If it can be put away with, that is all one wants – not any particular resolution. Sequential or non reasoning or whatever…

1.       If it is solvable, probably I would have already solved it or known the solution or sensed where the solution could be.

2.       Maybe I already sense the solution; I just need to be a bit silent to see it being there below the smoke.

3.       I am not at a disadvantage. I have what most other humans normally have. So if I can’t see the solution, I can be just kind to myself. It could be what we call the human limitation. One can accept it because that is what any human can do.

Masters seem to be good examples on how to relate, how to be. Their teaching seems to be through how they do than the words they say.

Faith : one can't feel but one knows it should be true and possible. That so many masters can't be lying.

I have a past. The masters seem to promise that the future can be Peace of the Buddha. A future in terms of perception steps – perception as now to Peace of the Buddha.

Zen in the Art of Archery describes a way of breathing where you exhale as completely as you can comfortably and then the breath takes itself in, then tighten the abdomen or press the breath in and then exhale completely. Repeat.

One good thing about this is, it is very clear and absolute. So when my mind is running around, and i see it, without going into further negotiations with the mind and self convincing, i can exhale out. How far? As completely as i can. Then the cycle takes over with the breath coming in naturally as i allow it. Keep it going for a few cycles and by then the confusions are in perspective. There is a distance from the unsolvable irritant, a reduced importance for the threat.

I find myself twisting and turning with anger and hatred and violent thoughts and vengeance and sadness and need for immediate results and depressive thoughts and so on. Then that leads to frenzy of activities which are assigned important status just because i think i need to be doing something – the habitual inner push says so.

At the same time i know the usefulness of being relaxed and calm in a sense of peace and positivity. Breath helps come back from the twisting and turning. instead of trying to do something for the sake of keeping busy. Nothing really to do? Breathe!

Here is Seth Godin's post on Sleeping Funny .

"If your bus is hijacked in the physical world, by all means do whatever is appropriate. If it is just in your mind, don't budge, keep going."

"Wolves and sharks all around, don't bother keep sitting."

A column or cloud of worry can stay, while i go ahead with my work – what next, what interests, what seems to be an option, creating…

By letting the worry go on and not trying to change it is not given importance. It is not made the core activity and so does not become a block. Worry is there, let it be, then i choose to go on with other stuff while the worry can stay or do as it wishes.

When one constantly comes back to breath, breath is given first priority always in any queue of choices. This implies how one has sort of understood how any of the mind terrain objects and movements can be safely ignored.

Implied action works while convincing does not. If I am not worried, my breath and body are relaxed and cute and i don't have to convince how calm i am. Any convincing comes from desperation. Trying to be calm means you are not. Instead come back to actions  imply being calm. Choose to concentrate or decide to keep working and moving on hence implying how you know the lack of reality associated with all the convincing stories the mind churns out. Not its fault.

While the worry can go on, one chooses to do what one wants to. The implication is very obvious, there is no violence or harshness or desperation for a change. I don't care what you do, i keep going. Smooth and beautiful.

Heard the story of an important botanist in the 1800s giving his apprentice a dead fish to observe for half a day, and then for three days. The first half day, after lot of boredom and curse, the student started drawing the fish and then he started seeing details he had not before. After three days the botanist apparently told him that he has not even started to look.

Transcribing in any form seems to be the best way to improve one's skill of observing, listening, seeing. Probably there is a natural time for the brain to fill up the basics and then one layer of details and then more. Of course jump learning or guess learning happens but it takes some time before the picture starts taking a recognizable form.

And one has to be able to listen and identify the nuances before one can play them. And more nuances recognized and played, closer to the skill one is, more recognizable form, more ability and details into one's own creation.

Jack Kornfield reminds us that breath when studied for long starts revealing the non solid nature of all. Breath itself becomes not one solid act but more of a combination of changes, differences, which actually it is, even if we look at it logically.

There is this unified law of transcribing, where in going to basic principles of transcribing, the field becomes less needed. The basic skills of observation and identifying and nuance prioritizing and guess learning skills can take one through different fields. After all the distinction of fields is dependent on the zoom level when looking at it.

Woke up in the evening and mind was racing. Went up to the roof and sat down.

"Let go let go" "none none" "attached to none""not needed just my mind" ….." "… "  "

What is that? It is, it is my skin. Is it cold now. Well, what is happening around? The sky, it is evening almost getting dark.

Then i realized how the 'tight hold' on 'letting go' was keeping me suffocated when there was this open space and sound and sight and smell and touch here now.

"We are all deluded beings" says a elderly master in the book Living and Dying in Zazen Good that he said that or i would be harsh on myself each time i notice how deluded i am.