Winning is not everything, but…

“…getting useful things done is, instead of sitting and whining about failure or looking around to see if someone is to tell you that all that matters is your feeling now. Especially when you are not in an exam bound by time, time is not pressing on you as you move beyond the insight (failed) and to the exact steps that you can take to get to the useful things done stage. Son, I won’t push you and introduce time into the field, neither should you, but any discomfort which is directly related with finding the steps that will connect you from here to that useful (keyword as opposed to good/bad or right/wrong or easy/difficult) thing be taken, minimized or dealt with using your distortion filters and other methods and be in reality”
Given such clear instructions, and noting that time is not a concern in most of these situations in real life other than exams and poverty, I decided to remind myself of how time is not in the equation and to do and redo the steps with the clear final goal in mind (as opposed to any local goal which may seem like a win but a dead end really).

Sicario (very good): very violent by implication, no rules land, worst on earth

I think there are a lot of movies which show a lot more blood. Although this movie does show dead bodies and violence, the implication of the no rules, animalistic part of human existence is the real tough impact that this movie has on the viewer.

The movie deliberately doesn’t show some violent parts, just leaves us guessing. But the reason, the people involved, the description of the antagonistic force involved etc builds in one the seriousness of the situation, the absolute terror, the wish to not be in the middle of something like that.

If a reminder of the worst of human existence is alright, watch the movie. It is very well made: the characters, the action, the scenes, the dialogue, the progress of narration, the implications. If you are the kind who will get depressed and will want to linger long on the bad of the earth, don’t watch it. It is ok… We just don’t want to take another difficult aspect of life on earth unless we really have to.

If you are the kind who will get depressed and will want to linger long on the bad of the earth, don’t watch it. It is ok… We just don’t want to take another difficult aspect of life on earth unless we really have to.

The background score is like some invention. Ok… so this is how these visuals have to sound? Maybe. Is this deep bass movement of sound what it feels like when there?

The music is like a big organism. It starts and then one wonders: really? Is this the music? Then it becomes louder and prominent and says “I am here” without any pretention of being a background music. The music tells you what you really should be feeling then and what you are against. A very big strong dark moving dragon?

Then the music for the visuals through Heat detector, night vision etc… It is an invention. A stand alone element. Not something just collected from the environment around, but made… made carefully to stand out and let one know that I existed here before, now I am here you can see it? The sound.

Revisiting memories, fearful to fearless etc: learning from a rock climber

This article about the brain of free solo rock climber Alex Honnold gives tips on mind exercises anyone can benefit from in daily life.

One, revisting memories and reconsolidation is possible. Go back, revisit fearful incidents, make them less fearful or fearless.

The same works with future incidents, it seems. Visualization as a kind of pre-consolidation. Equipping oneself, feeling competent and therefore naturally better able to see through in spite of fear. (Performers, some of us with anxieties for different kind of things…)

Another part of the article which helps me version and use for myself is the information on how amygdyla fires a split second before the real situation (search ‘snake’ within the article). This took away the confusion for me. The irrationality of fear. It doesn’t feel irrational anymore.

It doesn’t feel irrational anymore. One is prepared. Yes, that is how it works, I will feel the urge to flight or fight seemingly out of nowhere, premature and like a fool. Then, I need to remember that in previous similar situations, nothing bad really happened. Nothing so bad. If it was bad, well, I am alive here and doing fine, so the situation that was so bad should be considered as just a hard exam which I anyway passed.

If it was bad, well, I am alive here and doing fine, so the situation that was so bad should be considered as just a hard exam which I anyway passed.

Just like a perfomance well done, but prior to which i was afraid to death. An exam which mattered a lot to me, that I really didn’t want to do bad, and I wished this ordeal be over soon.

They were scary but the outcome confirms that either I am built to go through such stuff or they are really nothing to be so afraid of. Anyway, they did make me stronger from the experience: subjecting myself to and through the fear and coming out seeing that they don’t do any permanent damage, in fact the contrary.

People fear. They didn’t do anything bad – at least not always. It is a generalization and magnification. Still the amydyla may fire.

Remind yourself that it won’t hurt you. Thank you Aunt Amygdyla. Thank and welcome in: after all she just wants to protect me, especially since subconsciously you have clearly asked her and again ask her still, to protect you.

Take it away from me or take me away from it, although i really want the result. It is too much. 🙂

Thank you very much. Your memory is amazing. Nice script, no really. I appreciate it. I am healthy because of you. Now, we can do this. Rest…


Pre consolidation. Visualizing and preparing the moves. Even the fears.

Preparing for the amygdyla, going through the tactics or plain preparedness to be able to remember the needless nature of sharp fear and go through to come out reinforced.

Right practice makes fearless…

I am reminded of the book The Whole Brain Child ( which is very useful to understand how children need to learn to use the ‘Upper floors’ as opposed to by nature and how we can help them and give them compassion instead of confusion. Useful also for adults to understand why they are the way they are now… and at times forgive the adults they had around them, because… the adults just didn’t know 🙂 

Integrating completely by going to the space in time where it was the strongest

People are watching.

With the change of time and confidence, with better skills with the mind and in general, with a better connection with the world and the self, world has become a much more comfortable place to live in, along with a much comfortable self.

Then come the options of making it even better with better understanding and clarification of what was once.

Go back to one of the times when you felt this kind of mental disturbances the most. That time, of course, you weren’t prepared, you didn’t have the mind tools. But, luckily this kind of past situations where the distortions or feelings in the body were the strongest are such a gift to smoothen them out in the comfort of now.

It is almost an addictive pastime with great benefits.

Going back to that time when I was in the new place, where I was constantly worried with rigid body, wondering what the others are thinking about.

Now standing in front of a store, in the open park place, as the body still gets the idea to get a bit rigid and be conscious of the others, I think of the old times when the feelings were the strongest.

Strong enough to affect life and feel of the self as such a badly made apparatus. To hate oneself for being who one is.

Now, here, standing in the open space, the feeling is mild, and I smile with acceptance of how I am sensitive to it. And i add that most probably most aware people are sensitive to it. Passed through the correctors of magnification, mind reading, fortune teller error, labeling, black and white thinking etc, the feeling is almost a pleasant one 🙂 Maybe I just think high of myself.

Still, since there is time, I let myself go back to that old place of rigid strong fear and confusion. To stay there and include the reality of the now, then!

Staying in the dim light of the past, not interfering, but just passively staying there, I watched the knowledge I have today, passed on to that body there. A sigh and relief appears. Realizations are recognized. Body relaxes and moves back from the stoop. It was fun. 🙂 Learning is fun.

What remains is the reminder to oneself that however tough things may feel, there exists a constant thread of the one how lives behind the one who acts and one who is the interface. Thinks change for the better.

People didn’t matter the way I thought they should matter. Now going back and pouring it through each time the body remembers as rigid and confusing, there comes a peace of affirmation.

The constant one is touched.

Handling mistakes: Choosing adults around and the path is still forked

I can’t trust you with the tape recorder, son… Go away and play with something else. You can listen to music at a particular time every day. Then I will operate the machine and let you hear.

The child thought: Good thing, what you are doing. Just that I wonder if you are so careful with who is handling your music making gadget, how come this kind of protective thinking didn’t extend to exert discretion towards who is handling your child? Especially in the case of the older generation, some of whose members have a clear track record, victims, witnesses and proof of not being good to be around and being careless handlers of humans?

“Does it matter still?” asked Themus to the man.
“Oh no. Not at all. It has all been good. Tough exams are scary. When they are done you know they didn’t do anything bad as you thought they would.”

After all, we keep meeting two kinds of people in this respect:
1. “It was bad, it was bad” so I use it as the excuse to keep chanting the same Mantra and making sure it is still bad and forever… the scene going from close up to extra long and forgetfulness.
2. “If it was bad, let the future be good. I believe we have paid our price” That chant works too, and paths are found.

What if Interstellar wasn’t made fearing imperfections?

Interstellar ( is much liked, at the same time accused of imperfections.

It was very inspiring to see the movie. The mind was flexible at imagining space and the position of the self within possible understanding of space.

Visualizations were more vivid and fluent within my existence after seeing the great scenes and feeling the possible mindset the characters should have had during their experience of what was beyond their understanding.

Good that the creators of the movie are people beyond worry about imperfections and being very correct. Else, one wouldn’t have had the chance to get inspired the way the movie did.

If there is something good in it, the imperfect parts don’t matter as long as one can take and use the good parts. Just like a partly black banana.

Just a speck on the wall. Not a drop of urine in the soup. tweet this

Making sure your contact form works: mails to you may not be reaching you

I realized this problem when someone had to add me on Facebook and message me to let me know that they had tried contacting me for some work, a few weeks back!


Contact Form 7, the excellent code work is what is used in my sites.

A bit of reading informed me how servers are too strict with putting mails to the spam category and not delivering them. Contact form already warns us that when we use a gmail for example, to get the emails, servers may not like it.

Research brought me to the Postman SMTP plugin. Configure the Gmail client id etc and you are safer. The plugin will also show all the attempts made on your site, when some email was tried to be sent.

Now everything seems to be surer.

If you don’t use a captcha for your contact from use the reCaptcha from google, which is also recommended by the Contact Form 7 maker. Register your site, get two keys, add recaptcha to your contact form.

Surer email delivery, lesser spam.

(If you need help with your contact form, emails, website, online life in general, I may be able to help. Let me know.)

Image of Time for Peace in Life and Death

Not about physics nor a specific religion.

The same life lived, with different options to view time and space, here now, in reality, without jargon or special theories.

Dipson globe. Or a movie like Interstellar (, Reminder of the kind of silence, emptiness or space or vastness.

So vast that the search for the end, any movement bounces back to the person who searches, to the locality of the person, including a spherical vicinity that the person feels, he imagines as the possible space he can imagine.

Time, time. Movement. Life and death. When the space is infinite, movement is included again and again within, and having to search again for where can one move to, so that this movement is no more contained.

This leads to the realization of a lonely, ordinary universe like you and me. No movement outside. Can’t find any place to move to. Since that is again the universe, the space, the movement, included within a space which will need something else to be seen as a movement.

Comes back to you and me. Here now. The universe itself doesn’t seem to be able to make any external movements.

She seems to be without friends. Everywhere she touches is her anyway. Or anywhere where we imagine her touching or expanding to is again her, leaving her very lonely and alone.

That bounces the ball back to us. The search for a movement comes back. There is only us, me, the universe.

When even the universe doesn’t seem to be able to find any possible place to go to, why would I worry about death? There is no movement. My movement stops with death. If there was a movement too, there is no other place even the universe can go.

Movement starts being more and more in space, rather than as a reminder of time.

Let some leaves move. Feel from the shoes of the leaves. Like a plate moving in water, the leaf feels the air thick fluid, as it moves. It moves in space, unaware of the simple constant time keeping watch or clock.

The leaf moves. The hands of the clock is moving as the leaf. Till you notice the space around.

Where does the leaf move? Around in fluid air. Have a light memory of oneself being in the same space. There is a now a possible circle with a diameter. Include in awareness one more thing that could possibly be moving now or doesn’t move – a fan, a bird, a table.

There are now different kinds of movement, including no-movement. Clock becomes just one part of the play. The movement happens in space.

Let the future and past be around, in the circle or in a circle around you or from left to the right.

Let my words be a little bit vague with the description, let your mind parse through and fill in the gaps as is native to your mind.

Movements of different kind, that the clock too moves in space, its hands feeling the resistance of fluid air, like the rudder blades do against water.

Future and past around you and not away somewhere. You exist here in movement of your heart and lungs. And other movements exist too and you here are aware of the time that can be possibly around you.

No movement for the universe. The balls of search bounce around and back, in your watchful eyes.

All in peace.

The same old breathing silence.

What if there was a character curve and the hero had more guts

Not in the critics business. Just future oriented learning. Highly appreciate the creators of the original. Any observation based on them is for my study purposes, future betterment.

One: The Doctor Hero decides and goes through a surgery during which the child dies. At the end of the movie, we are shown that the mother had given consent for the surgery.

Instead, what if the Doctor really was a hero and took the risk on himself to begin with, and his guts and commitment finally convinced the mother to support him and relieve him of any possible legal troubles?

Two: The husband was completely disrespectful and unsupportive to the wife, put her down, let her stay back in India while he took the daughter and decided to live in Ireland since he didn’t want the next generation to be like his wife.

At the end, when the President acknowledges and praises the wife, the husband takes her hand and the woman is shown as being surprised and happy and all the possible past troubles ignored in a go with complete acceptance of the man.

I would find it more appealing if either the husband had a self realization period before and not just because of the President, or the woman viewed the husband’s new act with thank you but with an understanding of how that may be nothing great.

Come on, naturally such a husband will shift side to the woman’s when someone like a President is on her side. Nothing great at all.

Heroes who are heroic with guts. Characters who have an arc or face realistic consequences.

She is unable to and it is good for my documentation, delegation and SOPs

“Why isn’t she able to make process lists, dependencies, details of the processes, divided into doable tasks etc and do it?
Isn’t she interested in getting our work done, in the income it can bring?” asked my friend, in the beginning.
Then he continued “then I realized that this is a good opportunity and incentive for me to be creating task lists, how to dos including lists and procedures that are motivating enough to get things done that will bring customers, that will get the funnel going right etc.”
“after all, she also is not supposed to be working in the business for ever. we will have employees and they may have their own contacts to work with.”
I reminded him of delegation vs abdication as mentioned in E-myth (Amazon: USIN).
“Yeah, i read that too” said my friend “and realized how everything fell in place now. I take responsibility for the how-tos instead of blaming the technicians, including my friend, for not having the vision or ability which in fact is my responsibility. with the idea of abdication, the bad thing, it all centered again within me, and i was motivated to make SOPs, and filling up our wiki”
I asked him how it is going on…
“I make google docs with details for each thing my friend could do. it is printed and filed too. conversation guidelines with the client, the things one needs to ask and listen to, the things one needs to tell and affirm, the main points and attitude of the interaction. it is fun to see how these repeatable units can be so formalized that it feels like buttons to my increasing freedom!”
“not only that, i have been able to find the repeatable parts in seemingly varied projects by differentiating repeatable cores and add-ons, even though that is not how one may traditionally see it.”
I asked for an example.
“Website making along with connecting it correctly to the internet to make the website work the internet for the client. I have a person now doing wordpress installation + the repeated set of plugins and customizations that i have agreed upon as repeatable and usable in all the sites i do. this person is low cost, naturally since it is low skill + very well documented procedure. it was well worth documenting it because of the repeatable freeing nature.”
“If i had thought of each product along with its particular needs, the SOP would be for each project. Now, instead, once the basic is set, at a low price, one expert works to do the remaining. His time is costlier, but now reduced to the very essential only.”
Is it useful for all involved? I thought later in the evening.
Yes, the low priced technician is happy for the structure and consistency. If he chooses to be more skilled, he can do the remaining work, while finding someone else to do the repeated work or just doing it very fast so that timewise costs can be discussed and agreed with my friend.
The per hour costs are kept to a minimum.
My friend is not just abdicating. He took the responsibility, he is seen as authority enough and orderly to have made his SOPs. Something that only the ones who ‘mean business’, do.
He doesn’t have to mentor the repeated work person. Just in contact with the remaining work technician, again showing he is responsible.
Maybe at some point he may not have to do even that, but then, human contact is useful. It is not necessary most often to already think of the time when everything is done handfree.
No need really of such perfection at this point. My friend is doing fine. He changed, he learnt, he made… that is growth that stays.

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