Sep 4, 2010
Not motivated and fine as ever
Not because one is motivated. Not looking to convince the smoke around, not looking for security from ghosts who won't be there if i did not make them, not ready to be scared by 'unnecessary predators' who lurk only if i allow them.
How one carries the weight around thinking they are integral and helps one's movement, while they are just weights that one made and carries around. Maybe because one feels less lonely that way, when one imagines the 'ungraspable predators of insecurity' knocking at the door.
When there is only me, if i want to do it, i do it. One realizes how it is 'not out there, just in here' and then, 'not even here'. Motivation being just a little pack of snacks.
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