shyammonk

Just sitting is pure – no zen, no techniques. Coming back happens when one notice how one has gone involved, the breath tightening. Though just sitting, breath is still an important factor. When taken away in thoughts and anger and vengeance and arguments and sadness while just sitting, one starts slowly noticing the associated discomfort in the body. This leads to awareness of a tight breath and eventual loosening and coming back to Zero.

 

After a span of having spent time with observing the breath or oneself, one is trained to feel the discomfort as a sign. Noticing that leads to noticing tightness of breath and along with that, the coming back. This happens naturally without stopping for negotiations or convincing the self, when one is convinced of the lack of  need to be entangled. How thoughts appear realer than they actually are. (Yeah the rear view mirror warning comes to mind.)

 

“Do whatever helps. Forget Zen.”

“Breath is not absolute.”
“Technique is not the thing. Live well, that is all.”
“That we are alive here, now, is enlightenment.”

                                                                     – Master

It takes courage to leave techniques and systems and zen, to know and trust that one knows what is best, real, how it is alright to let go (the dead sea comes to mind). This judgment can be true only after one can see how thoughts really don’t exist the way one thinks it does.

 

Dogen said ask yourself thrice the question bothering you. You know the answer. You are wise and helpful to others. When it comes to yourself you don’t want to be wise, you need the master. Asking oneself the question feels like someone else asking you, your wisdom part is activated, you acknowledge the answer though the fear may still not allow you to accept it completely.

Accepting that one is alright, with all the imperfections and it is alright to stop acting the subordinate and the whining kid and the what if I am wrong and be a fool stuff. Death, the interesting nature of life – what fool can one be anyway.

 

The gold in the shadow is feared more than the negatives – Robert Johnson, Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche