shyammonk

David Burns in his Feeling Good book talks about how daring to be average actually increases productivity. He shows enough reason why he says so. All the possible oppositions to the same are covered and the brighter side shown.

For me,

1. doing the best that can be given the situation.
2. pushing oneself about performing the best, about being perfect.

2 is not needed for 1, though most of the time we think it is needed. Self motivation or telling oneself the 'right' story.

When one tries to push oneself on being the best, doing perfect, the focus is on the person – who you are from different views, who you are not, how good you are, how you are not good. In fact the desperation beneath the need to push, immediately gives away any confidence one can try to feign to oneself on the surface.

One can do what one can now. That seems to be best done by relaxing, which gives more space to look at the action plan, the 'person factors' having got cleared. Daring to be average, not pushing oneself, there is space for the mind to look at the task at hand.

Physical parallels, indicators

Trying to hold on, push and convince is felt as a physical discomfort. I have observed that when there is some self pushing going on, when i just want to convince myself of something, not wanting to let it go – i breathe in too much and hold the breath and not relax and breathe out. This physical discomfort, almost suffocation leads to more frustration, wanting reckless behaviour, anger etc. 

In this case daring to be average physically means breathing without pushing out or pushing in. In the in between range – soft breath, easy breath as if breath is taking a nice vacation maybe in Hawaii.

Same with eye exercise. I find myself pushing my eyes to the edges. Relax, keep it away from the extremes.

Singing – forcing my breath, forcing to get the pitch. Relax again, find the in between place of soft doing.

One feels good about oneself.

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