shyammonk

2002 i was confident i cannot learn anything new, do nothing skilled at all. Well it did not work out that way. I did learn to do some arranging, sequencing, sound engineering, improved (carnatic) singing from very dirty to reasonable, setup an online sales site from zero knowledge.

Didn't he say "Meaning reveals itself after a hundred times of reading"? Pretty true, huh. I don't need a theory about how my brain changed to a superior one. What changed then? Change from restless 0.5 doing to readiness to do the 100 even when nothing seems to fit yet. Yet…

A change from a heavily anxious person taken by the urges of mind to jump, run, quit, whine … to sit, allowing the different parts to float, without an urge for easy closure, till parts come in and fit. "so i don't know the jargon""probably this is this""ah chances are (oh well solving is intuition very similar to well that bass note does not sound right there)"

Reminds on of allowing the conflicting parts to exist on two nodes of the triangle while one sees from the third (Robert Johnson – Owning your own Shadow).

Life is good – letting things… they stay as they want, where they want, while one can still move around and see. No grasp? Freedom to move around…

Finally, it's all about fear… Knowing to keep fear in the right place, walk along with it to the place where systems are manufactured – not at the mercy of available systems – made available by oneself.

What did i just say… i am scared

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